her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
