But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You pole danced in your parka.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He shit in the fireplace
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
