Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
