pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
