Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
