There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
