You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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