its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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