Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
