So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
