Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I think my moral compass just broke
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize