I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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