shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
