I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Randomize
