OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
