my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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