That's intense
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
