Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Houston, we have a blender
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
