you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
