i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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