You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
