U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Randomize
