After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Me. At least after what I've been through.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
