These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
