I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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