yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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