Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
