His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
tequila makes me forget i have legs
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
