only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
