Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
