Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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