I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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