if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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