I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
