My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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