you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
