is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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