He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
