Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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