I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
