Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
