i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Two words: nipple clamps
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