Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
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