i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
