i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
