mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He shit in the fireplace
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
