God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
