and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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