If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
