I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
